I think the title says it all 
As of today, I am 9 weeks pregnant (I’m due March 14!) and let me tell you, keeping that a secret for as long as we have has been SO HARD! Thank you to those who respected my desire to not say anything until now, and to those of you that I lied to – I’m so sorry! It was a necessary evil For a really long time I didn’t believe it was real, then once I had my first ultrasound to confirm that it WAS real I was concerned that it wouldn’t stick, and then when I started to actually feel pregnant (morning sickness is such a misleading term!) I just felt too overwhelmingly yucky to want to celebrate the news. The timing just wasn’t right.
I’m still feeling pretty darn yucky (I’m just trying to get through each day as it comes, because no two days are the same) but after seeing the heartbeat at my appointment this morning, I decided it was time to share! (Plus, I really don’t think my family could contain the information any longer. I’m surprised they made it this long without starting to hemorrhage or something!)
So I’m constantly nauseous and exhausted, but trust me, even if I don’t always SEEM like it, I’m elated! And I have to say that I feel justified in all the choices I’ve made lately. When I spoke with my work and told them I wanted to quit after this summer, we hadn’t even started trying yet. (I was hoping we’d get pregnant quickly, but I really didn’t think we’d get one past the goalie on the first try!) Everyone has been SO understanding, and I made it through most of the scheduling cycle before I had to ask for help and to be taken off of my morning cases (I don’t know how women work throughout their entire pregnancies. Maybe I’m just a huge wuss, but I am really struggling!) Even more amazingly, before I’d even told people I was pregnant, I already had friends donating cloth diapers, baby clothes, wiggle seats, and toys. I think the universe is on my side right now, and I can’t even begin to express how loved and supported I feel.
Oh, and just because I know ultrasound photos are hard to decipher (after I sent the first one to J via text message, he called and said, “What did you just send me?”) the head is on the left, the white area in the center is the heart (seeing it beat was SO AMAZING! I wish I had a video instead of a still photo!) and the diminishing tail/emerging tiny limb buds are on the right We also got to see the umbilical cord and the yolk sack – it is all so surreal!
So now I’m gonna go get ready for an early bedtime with a smile on my face – no more secrets, everyone can know! J and I are having a baby!
