Less Than One Week of Work Left – Then What?

When I made the decision to quit my job at the end of the summer, I hadn’t gotten pregnant yet and I had a lot of worries related to what I should do next. Should I get a job? Would it even be ethical to start a new job, knowing beforehand that I could be quitting very soon? And if I were to start a new job, what would I do? Supposing I gave in to my desire to truly just stay at home, what should I do during the course of my day? It wouldn’t be very responsible to just sit around and catch up on TV shows for however long it took me to get pregnant, and I’m sure that would eventually get boring anyhow (though I’m not going to lie – I think at first, it would be awesome!)

And that’s that point at which I got stuck – after catching up on sleep and household chores, what would I do next? I’ve struggled for a really long time with not being able to “slow down”. I’m so used to having so much going on that I’m constantly in full throttle mode – I always have a thousand lists of things that need to get done and I can’t understand people who just SIT when there are so many tasks that need attending to. When my boss asked me what I was going to do instead of work, I think I surprised us both by answering, “Be happy”. But in all my life, I don’t think I’d ever honestly asked myself, “If I had no career, no kids, and no household tasks to attend to, what would I most like to do? What would make me happy?”

So when I thought about quitting work, that’s what I started thinking about. And I had a LOT of ideas, some of which just won’t be feasible right now but I will remind myself to do at a later date (I’d love to take some classes on wine tasting and maybe cooking, and I’d love to go back to school just to take the random classes that I loved the most when I was in college. Those options require money and a fully functioning brain, though, and I don’t have much of either of those right now!) But some of them were feasible, and surprised the heck out of me.

Apparently, the two biggest things I’d like to do are workout (I wanted to get into RUNNING, which is SO unlike me that I was both excited and scared of myself at the same time. For now I think I’m going to have to be satisfied with walking, and eventually, waddling, but someday I can pick up the pace again) and write more! I didn’t know that I wanted to do that! (I guess when you actually take the time to ask yourself questions as though you are a third person, you shouldn’t be too surprised by any answer you get in response!) When I was in elementary school I wanted to be a writer, but I’ve never been able to write poetry or pick a plot for a novel. But on a BLOG, oh boy, you mean there is a venue that allows (nay! Encourages!) me to share with the world all the random insights I come up with throughout the day? Holy cow, if that kind of writing is on the table, I have a TON of material to choose from! (None of it terribly marketable, but maybe that will manage to fall into place somewhere down the line as well).

Morning sickness has slightly dampened my enthusiasm for actually DOING either of those things right now, but hopefully within the next few weeks I’ll stop feeling so darn yucky and start putting together a loose schedule for how I’ll spend my days until the baby actually arrives!

So if, in just a couple of minutes, you ask me how I feel about my future, I may start freaking out about finances or dental insurance or something else along those lines. But as of right now (and I’d say, for the majority of the time) I’m feeling pretty good about things

Tagged as: musings, plans, pregnancy, reflections, updates