Comments on: I Don’t Understand Weddings http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/ The antics and anecdotes of a SAHM striving for greatness (but willing to settle for "good-ness" if that's what it takes to get through the day!) Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:12:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The 7 Link Challenge! http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-81 The 7 Link Challenge! Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:49:23 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-81 [...] 3) A post which had a great discussion – I Don’t Understand Weddings [...] [...] 3) A post which had a great discussion – I Don’t Understand Weddings [...]

]]> By: Katie http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-31 Katie Wed, 31 Mar 2010 22:57:15 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-31 For a bachlorette party, no gift required! You just show up for a good time. For my bachlorette party a couple of girls bought some fun games to play and that was all. <br /><br />One person who came to both my bridal shower and wedding just gave me a gift at the bridal shower, and that was just fine with me. Other than that, I don't remember who didn't get me a gift (I mean that I know some people didn't get us gifts, but I don't know who, and it doesn't really matter). <br /><br />If you want to go to a bridal shower and give a gift, buy something like shower body scrub (which I got as a present and love). Something that is cheap but for the bride to have. It doesn't HAVE to be something off their registry.<br /><br />Same thing for the wedding. If you are going to feel so guilty about not bringing a gift to a wedding that you won't show up, then bring something cheap and thoughtful. Or homemade. <br /><br />But in the end if you can't afford to go to the wedding because it's too expensive, just send a card and say how much you wished you could have gone and you look forward to seeing the couple sometime soon. Wow, this is much longer than necessary, but I think if you like the person and can afford to go to the wedding/shower/b-party, go and save yourself the expense of a gift. Most likely they won't notice. For a bachlorette party, no gift required! You just show up for a good time. For my bachlorette party a couple of girls bought some fun games to play and that was all.

One person who came to both my bridal shower and wedding just gave me a gift at the bridal shower, and that was just fine with me. Other than that, I don't remember who didn't get me a gift (I mean that I know some people didn't get us gifts, but I don't know who, and it doesn't really matter).

If you want to go to a bridal shower and give a gift, buy something like shower body scrub (which I got as a present and love). Something that is cheap but for the bride to have. It doesn't HAVE to be something off their registry.

Same thing for the wedding. If you are going to feel so guilty about not bringing a gift to a wedding that you won't show up, then bring something cheap and thoughtful. Or homemade.

But in the end if you can't afford to go to the wedding because it's too expensive, just send a card and say how much you wished you could have gone and you look forward to seeing the couple sometime soon. Wow, this is much longer than necessary, but I think if you like the person and can afford to go to the wedding/shower/b-party, go and save yourself the expense of a gift. Most likely they won't notice.

]]> By: An Air Force Ewing Family http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-29 An Air Force Ewing Family Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:57:38 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-29 If you are invited and attend a bridal shower you're buying gifts off the same registry as the wedding, so you've already fulfilled your bartering requirement ;) Seriously though, the women who attended my bridal shower came to the wedding with nice congrats cards. So, there's one gift less. As for the bachelorette party ... buy the bride a drink!<br />I'll think about this more seriously, but there's all kinds of things that you can do on the cheap that are wedding gift appropriate.<br />Overall though, one gift is enough.<br />Also, I don't know about most brides, but if I knew that someone was coming in from out of town I considered that they paid to come their gift. If you are invited and attend a bridal shower you're buying gifts off the same registry as the wedding, so you've already fulfilled your bartering requirement ;) Seriously though, the women who attended my bridal shower came to the wedding with nice congrats cards. So, there's one gift less. As for the bachelorette party … buy the bride a drink!
I'll think about this more seriously, but there's all kinds of things that you can do on the cheap that are wedding gift appropriate.
Overall though, one gift is enough.
Also, I don't know about most brides, but if I knew that someone was coming in from out of town I considered that they paid to come their gift.

]]> By: Carolyn http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-26 Carolyn Wed, 31 Mar 2010 03:36:21 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-26 Oh gosh no, I would NEVER RSVP and then not go! I like the idea of making napkins though, that is a cute idea! I wish I had my sewing machine still . . . that was a loss :( And your wedding was beautiful, I don't mean to discount it, and I think edible items are the way to go with party favors ;) Everyone appreciates those! Oh gosh no, I would NEVER RSVP and then not go! I like the idea of making napkins though, that is a cute idea! I wish I had my sewing machine still . . . that was a loss :( And your wedding was beautiful, I don't mean to discount it, and I think edible items are the way to go with party favors ;) Everyone appreciates those!

]]> By: Sam http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-24 Sam Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:49:59 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-24 I would talk to the person that invited you (bride/groom). Personally I would prefer the guest and not have the present. Stuff doesn't matter, people do! I would talk to the person that invited you (bride/groom). Personally I would prefer the guest and not have the present. Stuff doesn't matter, people do!

]]> By: Trisha Slusser http://www.makingitworkblog.com/2010/03/i-dont-understand-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-18 Trisha Slusser Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:35:41 +0000 http://www.makingitworkblog.com/?p=24#comment-18 I think you should do whatever you want or are able to do. If they don't understand that you are having financial difficulties then they really aren't good friends in the first place.<br /><br />If you do agree to go, ESPECIALLY to the wedding, please attend and don't not show up because you don't have a gift. 20 people failed to show up at my wedding and cost my parents an extra $2000+ they didn't need to spend. Plus it cost us time and effort trying to seat them appropriately, getting them their wedding favors, etc.<br /><br />I wouldn't show up to a wedding empty handed, but even a small gift card, a less expensive thing off their registry, or some fun cloth napkins (you can make them yourself with a napkin ring) might just do the trick. Of course...that might just depend on the bride and you would know which one is a bridezilla (if any) and which one is not.<br /><br />In regards to my wedding favors I just did candy and that worked out ok. My parents wanted a really big wedding and they wanted to throw a good party because it made them happy.<br /><br />The bachelorette party and bridal shower are really fun, but they can get out of hand because of the gifts or getaway involved. Use your good judgement and talk to the bride or planner.<br /><br />Keep in mind I don't know all the wedding etiquette so I am just thinking about what I would do if I were you. I think you should do whatever you want or are able to do. If they don't understand that you are having financial difficulties then they really aren't good friends in the first place.

If you do agree to go, ESPECIALLY to the wedding, please attend and don't not show up because you don't have a gift. 20 people failed to show up at my wedding and cost my parents an extra $2000+ they didn't need to spend. Plus it cost us time and effort trying to seat them appropriately, getting them their wedding favors, etc.

I wouldn't show up to a wedding empty handed, but even a small gift card, a less expensive thing off their registry, or some fun cloth napkins (you can make them yourself with a napkin ring) might just do the trick. Of course…that might just depend on the bride and you would know which one is a bridezilla (if any) and which one is not.

In regards to my wedding favors I just did candy and that worked out ok. My parents wanted a really big wedding and they wanted to throw a good party because it made them happy.

The bachelorette party and bridal shower are really fun, but they can get out of hand because of the gifts or getaway involved. Use your good judgement and talk to the bride or planner.

Keep in mind I don't know all the wedding etiquette so I am just thinking about what I would do if I were you.

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