I don’t understand weddings.
Well okay, I get the concept of marriage, and therefore the pomp and circumstance that goes along with it. I’ve done that, I get that.
What I don’t get are all of the “traditional” components of a wedding that don’t seem to have a purpose other than costing a lot of money. What, really, are the point of party favors? Do any wedding guests really save those candles or bubbles to reminisce over in the future? As much as I enjoy the purpose of a wedding, the whole thing always looks to me like a giant barter – you buy me presents, and in exchange, I’ll buy you dinner and drinks. (Which is why for my wedding, we cut out the middle man – let’s just all bring something for dinner and call it even). I can’t imagine how much it must cost to throw a traditional wedding.
My main issue, though, is that attending a wedding is an expensive affair. I admit to there being times where I’ve really wanted to attend the special event, but it was just too cost prohibitive. Most of the time there is travel involved (which means paying for the drive, airfare, and/or hotel accommodations), finding something appropriate to wear to the event (and buying something, if you happen to be, like me, short on clothing), and of course, presents.
Buying presents is where you really start to lose me. If you are moving out of your parents home and starting off with nothing to your name, I totally understand the need to register for gifts. However, these days most people have been living on their own (and maybe even living together), so registering for gifts sometimes just seems like an excuse to ask people to buy you things you can’t afford. I don’t have much money, and I very rarely buy anything for myself. But you really can’t go to a wedding and NOT bring a gift, so I at least try to pick the most functional thing off of the gift registry. Everyone needs things to cook with and eat off of, so I can justify that. But do you really need 18 place settings that you’ll probably only use once or twice a year? If I can’t seem to justify buying myself a tee-shirt from Target (the ones I wear the most are hand-me-downs from my sisters or ones I bought at a flea market three years ago) why should I have to buy you a sculpture or camping gear? How about you buy your own camping gear, and I’ll make sure I don’t show up to your party naked 
I have a number of weddings this summer, and I want to attend all of the parties for all of the couples because they are people that I care about and want to share this joyous moment of their lives with. But with the changes we are making to our budget in order to save up for a child, I simply cannot afford three separate trips out of town for bridal showers, three separate gifts for each of the bridal showers, and money for dinner/drinks/shenanigans for any bachelorette parties that are planned (and BOY do those parties usually end up expensive!) in ADDITION to the cost involved of attending the wedding and buying presents for that event as well. I just can’t do it, and if I can’t go, I look like I don’t care. And I do care. I just don’t care for spending that much money when I could be saving for a baby (I like babies more than I like giving people expensive stuff).
And so here is where I need some advice, because I’m too jaded and ignorant to know what the proper wedding gift etiquette is.
If you are invited to a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and a wedding, do you buy gifts for all of those events, or is one gift enough?
Help me please, because I want to attend everything, but I don’t want to show up empty handed and break any of the unwritten rules that I am completely unaware of. Is it okay to attend a wedding on a budget and only provide one gift, or do rules dictate I not attend the parties if I can’t participate in the gift exchange as well?
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